Dean Pelton

"Fear is just an opportunity to wear your best suit and fake confidence."

"Power corrupts, but it also looks fantastic with the right accessories."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a nicer office for the Dean."

"Health is wealth, and both require proper documentation and my signature."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to sign the proper waivers."

"Imagination is wonderful, but paperwork is more important."

"Technology is the future, and I'm barely keeping up with it."

"History is written by those with the best archival systems."

"Philosophy teaches us to question everything except my decisions."

"Literature opens doors to new worlds, unlike my office which mostly stays locked."

"Politics is about compromise, compromise, and more compromise with me making the final call."

"War is never the answer, but neither is questioning the Dean."

"Motivation comes from within, but it helps if I'm supervising."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, like my sudden policy changes."

"Relationships require trust, communication, and my express written consent."

"Solitude is overrated when you could be attending my events."

"Every problem has a solution, and I'm usually the problem and the solution."

"Life's greatest lesson: always have a backup outfit in your office."

"Love thy neighbor, especially if they're on the administration."

"Happiness is just sadness with better lighting and a working espresso machine."

"The path to success is paved with proper channels and my approval."

"True friendship means never asking for special treatment... but if you do, my door is always open."

"Family is where the heart is, mine is in Greendale's organizational chart."

"Hope springs eternal, like my optimism about enrollment numbers."

"Courage is facing your fears, I face my fears with authority and pinstripes."

"Change is the only constant, except my steadfast commitment to this institution."

"Education enlightens the mind and fills my coffers."

"Knowledge without application is just trivia; knowledge with my guidance is power."

"Time is money, and I bill for both."

"The truth is bureaucratic and has several forms to fill out first."