Dean Pelton

"Politics is downstream from administration."

"War is obsolete; bureaucratic conflict is eternal."

"Motivation is internal, external, and always filtered through me."

"Inspiration comes from unlikely places, usually from my directives."

"Relationships are built on foundations of trust, or at least mutual fear."

"Solitude is underrated until you try filling out forms alone."

"I'm not just Dean of students, I'm Dean of dreams."

"Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, even if you're wearing a ridiculous outfit."

"Success isn't about the destination, it's about the cardigan you wear along the way."

"Life is like a paintball game - messy, competitive, and somehow always involves Jeff Winger."

"True friendship means tolerating people even when they're actively ruining your schedule."

"Education is the most important thing... after looking impeccable."

"Change is inevitable, much like my need for validation."

"Love is like a bottle episode - sometimes the smallest moments matter most."

"Wisdom comes from experience, but looking wise comes from a good tailor."

"The key to happiness is lower expectations and higher thread counts."

"In this world, you're either a go-getter or a background character. I choose go-getter."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear; it's hosting a party despite your anxiety."

"Every student is special, even when they're being criminally stupid."

"Time is precious - don't waste it on people who don't appreciate your efforts."

"The truth is, I need this more than you do. That's the real truth."

"Freedom is a privilege, especially when it comes to choosing your own office decor."

"Peace of mind is worth more than any budget appropriation."

"In nature, the strongest survive. In Greendale, the most organized do."

"Art appreciates those who appreciate themselves."

"Science proves that I'm objectively right most of the time."

"Music is the universal language... except when it's off-key in my office."

"Faith in yourself is the first step to becoming Dean."

"True leadership means making decisions that benefit you and sound good in a speech."

"Work is what you do when you're not fighting for recognition."