Dwight Schrute

"I am an excellent driver."

"Blood oath? You don't take those lightly."

"I could bench press a small Asian man."

"The key to a great garden is preparation."

"I want to make love to you, but first I must ascertain your level of commitment."

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

"I am not just a hard worker; I am the hardest worker."

"Fear is the path to the dark side."

"That's what she said."

"I did not expect to survive. But I have survived. And thrived."

"What's the most important thing in a friendship? Trust. And I would never jeopardize that."

"Fighting is not a sin; it's a privilege."

"I am the fastest gun in the west."

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"I have been training for this my entire life."

"One day, you will be Jello'd, my friend."

"Beets are the most noble of all root vegetables."

"I am never sick. I am, in fact, more alive than I have ever been."

"The German education system is superior to that of the United States."

"In the wise words of Michael Scott: You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take."

"I have a gun for protection."

"The best way to make a good decision is to never doubt yourself."

"Pam is pregnant. Pam is having a baby."

"I am a man of steel and principle."

"That's a psychological trap that you're trying to set for me."

"I am the best boyfriend you've ever had."

"I could die tomorrow, and I would have no regrets."

"Nothing is more important than loyalty."

"I have been training my body like a machine for years."

"The secret to happiness is knowing when to stop."