Frankie Boyle

"Family is where life begins and love never ends."

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul."

"Courage is grace under pressure."

"Change begins with a single decision to be different."

"Knowledge is not power; applied knowledge is power."

"Time is the canvas upon which we paint our lives."

"Truth may be bitter, but it sets us free."

"Freedom requires responsibility."

"Peace is the result of accepting what we cannot change."

"Nature is the greatest teacher if we learn to listen."

"I've got nothing against Muslims, but let's face it, none of them are inventors. Well, except for the bomb-vest - that's quite innovative."

"Religion is like a blanket - it gives you comfort, but if you pull it over your head, you can't see anything."

"The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also stupid, because you can't even trust the lies."

"Love is just a chemical reaction - which explains why most relationships feel like an experiment gone wrong."

"Success is 10% inspiration, 90% not giving up, and 100% pretending you always knew you'd make it."

"We're all just trying to pay rent and not die alone - everything else is just decoration."

"The problem with democracy is that 51% of people are stupider than average."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski - have you ever seen someone sad on a jet ski?"

"Education is important, but it's not as important as pretending to be educated."

"Death is the only thing that proves life was real - everything else is just guessing."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear - it's being terrified and doing it anyway because the alternative is worse."

"Time is the one thing you can't buy back, so spend it on people who make you laugh."

"Friendship is finding someone just as broken as you and agreeing not to fix each other."

"The greatest act of kindness is pretending not to notice when someone's trying."

"Art is just expensive doodling that rich people feel obligated to understand."

"Hope is believing things will get better when literally everything suggests they won't."

"Peace is just the pause between conflicts where everyone reloads."

"Nature doesn't care about your feelings - it'll kill you and not even apologize."

"Music is the only thing that proves humans aren't completely terrible."

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and no power just makes you miserable."