Fred Allen

"Adventure begins where the road ends."

"Imagination is the beginning of creation."

"Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master."

"Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Philosophy is the art of being confused at a higher level."

"A library is not a luxury but a necessity."

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies."

"War proves that human beings are not rational actors."

"Motivation is what gets you started; habit is what keeps you going."

"Inspiration is everywhere; you just have to look for it."

"Relationships require vulnerability and trust."

"In solitude, we find ourselves."

"The advertising man is a liaison between the makers of products and the public which uses them."

"A miser is a hardworking man who doesn't enjoy his own money."

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

"The radio is the only thing worse than having a television set."

"An advertising agency is eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission."

"The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow."

"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought with ardor and attended to with diligence."

"The function of the humorist is to reflect on society what society reflects on itself."

"Satire is the last refuge of the frustrated moralist."

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all their life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

"The statue of limitations hasn't run out on my childhood."

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous—everyone hasn't met me yet."

"California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange."

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."

"If we ever get to heaven, we'll be disappointed to find that it's spelled 'television'."

"The true source of laughter is suffering."

"Politics is the art of explaining to people why they should love the leash around their neck."