Gilbert Gottfried

"I have no idea what I'm doing, and I love it."

"Life is too short to be serious all the time."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"Don't take yourself too seriously; nobody else does."

"The key to success is finding what makes you laugh."

"Love is just a four-letter word, like most of my vocabulary."

"True friendship means laughing at each other's jokes."

"Family is where the funny stories come from."

"Hope is what keeps us from becoming completely unbearable."

"Courage is being able to laugh at yourself first."

"Change is the only constant, like bad breath."

"Education teaches you facts; experience teaches you wisdom."

"Knowledge without humor is just pretentious."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and crawls when you're not."

"Truth is funnier than fiction most of the time."

"Freedom means you can say what you want, even if it's stupid."

"Peace comes from accepting you can't control everything."

"Nature is perfect; humans are the problem."

"Art is what separates us from the animals, barely."

"Science explains why my jokes work or don't work."

"Music is the language everyone understands."

"Faith is believing in something bigger than yourself."

"Leadership is about making people want to follow you."

"Work is just a way to pay for the things you enjoy."

"Dreams are what we think about when we're not working."

"Humor is the armor against life's difficulties."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, especially when drunk."

"Death is just life's way of saying you're done."

"Perseverance is refusing to quit, even when you should."

"Gratitude makes life bearable and often hilarious."