Gilbert Gottfried

"Creativity is intelligence having fun with itself."

"Justice is what we want when we're the victims."

"Patience is a virtue I don't possess."

"Kindness costs nothing but means everything."

"Strength isn't just physical; it's mental too."

"Fear is just a reminder that you're alive."

"Power corrupts, but comedy enlightens."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it buys funny things."

"Health is wealth, but laughter is priceless."

"Adventure awaits those willing to be ridiculous."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"Technology is just humanity trying to fix its mistakes."

"History repeats itself because nobody listens."

"Philosophy is asking questions nobody can answer."

"Literature lets us live a thousand lives."

"Politics is show business for ugly people."

"War proves we haven't evolved very far."

"Motivation comes from within, usually your wallet."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it."

"Relationships require patience I don't have."

"Solitude is underrated in our noisy world."

"The best comedy comes from real pain."

"Life's a game, and I'm losing badly."

"Love makes you do stupid things with a smile."

"Wisdom is knowing when to shut up."

"Happiness is a choice, like eating cake."

"Success is subjective, like good taste."

"Friends are people who tolerate your existence."

"Family can't choose you, but you can avoid them."

"Hope is what idiots feel before reality hits."