Gracie Allen

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."

"Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."

"I don't believe in astrology. I'm a Libra and we don't believe in that sort of thing."

"Never place a period where God has placed a comma."

"I made my mistakes, but in hindsight, they were all necessary."

"The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself."

"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

"Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you."

"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby."

"I have a simple philosophy: fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."

"Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

"The truth is like a lion; you don't have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself."

"Acting is like sex: you should do it, not talk about it."

"I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that makes my children illegitimate."

"The key to a successful marriage is patience, understanding, and a good sense of when to leave the room."

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?"

"The problem with some people is that they are without a doubt without a doubt."

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."

"Fidelity is a virtue that should be taught in every home."

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

"When I was a debutante, I didn't know what I was coming out of."

"The secret of dealing with a woman is to be careful, be kind, and above all, be grateful."