Herb Kazzaz

"Music is the only language that tells the truth."

"Faith without doubt is just delusion."

"Leadership is the burden of disappointing everyone equally."

"Time is the thing that makes you realize you wasted everything else."

"Nature is indifferent to human suffering, which is refreshing."

"Science proves we're all just complicated arrangements of matter."

"The art of living is knowing when to quit."

"I was on TV, baby! That's what matters in this world."

"You know what the problem is? Nobody remembers the funny guy. They remember the handsome guy."

"Life's a bitch, and then you die. But at least I got my name in the credits."

"Friendship is just another word for people who tolerate your existence."

"The secret to happiness is never expecting anything from anyone."

"Love is a beautiful thing, as long as you don't actually have to see the person every day."

"I learned that success is 10% inspiration and 90% being in the right place at the right time."

"Family? That's just people you're stuck with forever whether you like them or not."

"The truth is, most people are just making it up as they go along."

"Courage is overrated. Cowardice works just fine if you're sneaky enough."

"Change is inevitable, which is why I always wear a toupee."

"Education is great if you want to be bored for sixteen years."

"Time is a flat circle, and it keeps running backwards on my career."

"Knowledge is power, and power gets you a better table at Spago."

"Hope is just disappointment in a fancy dress."

"Freedom means being free to disappoint yourself however you want."

"Peace is what you get when everyone stops bothering you."

"Nature? I prefer climate-controlled indoor spaces."

"Art is subjective, which is lucky because most of my work is terrible."

"Science explains everything except why I'm so underappreciated."

"Music is the universal language that lets me avoid real conversation."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see, like my career comeback."

"Leadership is just getting other people to do what you want."