Jane Lane

"Sarcasm is the only appropriate response to mediocrity."

"Ambition is usually just another word for desperation."

"Rules exist so people can feel superior to those who break them."

"Authority is just force with a better attitude."

"Tradition is peer pressure from dead people."

"The future is probably going to be terrible, so why worry?"

"Maturity is learning to hide your contempt better."

"Growing up is learning that everything you believed was a lie."

"The meaning of life is that there is no meaning."

"Everything is temporary, which should be comforting but isn't."

"Authenticity is overrated because nobody really cares anyway."

"Inner peace comes from accepting that nothing matters."

"The best revenge is indifference."

"Ambivalence is my strongest conviction."

"I've decided to embrace my nihilism—it's very freeing."

"The only constant is disappointment."

"Sentimentality is just nostalgia before you're actually nostalgic."

"The human condition is basically just a series of unfortunate events."

"Good taste is wasted on people without the means to enjoy it."

"Rebellion is just conformity with a different uniform."

"Society is just organized oppression with health benefits."

"Jealousy is just love with a temper."

"Self-awareness is usually just another form of self-loathing."

"The irony of life is wasted on people living it."

"Fashion is a form of self-expression, but it shouldn't express that you've given up on life."

"I'm not anti-social, I'm just selectively social."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about... wait, no, that's Oscar Wilde. Never mind."

"People are idiots. Present company excluded, of course."

"Just because something is traditional doesn't mean it's not completely idiotic."

"I don't need a boyfriend. I need a decent pizza."