Jerry Seinfeld

"Your default settings aren't necessarily your best settings."

"Most of our problems come from misunderstanding what other people meant."

"The best remedy for anxiety is action."

"We're all carrying around more pain than people realize."

"Integrity is doing the right thing even when it costs you."

"The moment you stop trying to impress people is when they start respecting you."

"Every successful person has a story of spectacular failure."

"Gratitude is the fastest path to contentment."

"The things we resist persist until we accept them."

"Your legacy is not what you accumulate, but who you've helped."

"I don't understand the concept of renting. You're just paying someone else's mortgage."

"Somehow, we've come to expect that life should be easy."

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty good for an army, right?"

"People don't want to hear the truth; they want to hear something interesting."

"I'm telling you, if you're not comfortable with public speaking, you're limiting your own life."

"Why do we need a house? To put our stuff in. But the house itself is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and buy more stuff."

"Unemployment is when you're out of work. The government is the only place where you can work and not have a job."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"Every little thing that happens, you have to ask permission for."

"I don't know how you could say that. I wouldn't do that."

"Nothing is more important than good food and good company."

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life. To be happy. It's all that matters."

"You know we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a SPECIFIC way."

"Is anyone really happy with their job? Nobody. That's why it's called work."

"Master of my domain!"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

"I'm out there Jerry and I'm loving every minute of it."

"These days, even your bathroom scale has a digital readout. But what does it know? It doesn't know if you're retaining water."

"Why do people need to trim the fat off meat? The fat is the best part. That's where all the flavor is."

"You spend thirty or forty years of your life getting yelled at by people your parents' age."