Jerry Seinfeld

"The only way to deal with fear is to face it head on."

"I don't want to be a writer anymore. I want to be a comedian."

"You ever see someone trying to act natural? It's the most unnatural thing."

"A good conversation is like a good song - it has rhythm and flow."

"Why do we call it an 'apartment' when it's all together?"

"The human foot is a miracle of engineering."

"I think the key to happiness is accepting what you cannot change."

"People need to be entertained. We want to forget our problems."

"Marriage is a lot like tennis. If you don't have a good partner, you're going to spend a lot of time playing against the wall."

"What's the deal with shirts that say 'vintage'? They're just old."

"A real friend is someone who walks in when everyone else walks out."

"I'm a social person, but I also value my alone time."

"The most important thing a parent can do is teach their child to question everything."

"Why do people lie? Usually to avoid something worse."

"I've found that the older you get, the less you care what other people think."

"A real vacation is when you do absolutely nothing and feel great about it."

"Why is there always one person who ruins it for everyone else?"

"Success is not about the destination, it's about enjoying the journey."

"The things that make us laugh the hardest are often the most honest things."

"I think people are basically good, but society messes us up."

"Why do we have to be judged by how we look?"

"Patience is not my strong suit, but I'm working on it."

"The greatest gift you can give someone is your time."

"What's the deal with people who don't use their blinker?"

"I think comedy is a way to speak the truth that people don't want to hear."

"In the end, what matters is how you treat other people."

"Why do we call it common sense when it's not that common?"

"The worst thing about getting older is that you remember when things were better."

"I think we all have a responsibility to leave the world better than we found it."

"Why can't they just put the expiration date in clear English?"