Joan Rivers

"I always want to play a character with a disease because I think it's very, very interesting to explore those parts of character."

"I don't understand why anyone would want to hurt me."

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body."

"You can't fix stupid."

"I've learned so much from my mistakes that I'm thinking of making some more."

"I never drink during the day. But I'll make an exception tonight."

"I try to make my work relevant and beautiful and deeply humane."

"I don't want to travel at all."

"I've learned that beauty doesn't have an expiration date, it just requires maintenance and confidence."

"The secret to aging gracefully is not fighting it—it's laughing at it before anyone else can."

"Never apologize for being ambitious; the world needs people who refuse to settle."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy therapy, which is basically the same thing."

"I've always believed that reinvention is the ultimate form of self-respect."

"The best revenge isn't success—it's success achieved while looking fabulous."

"Life is too short to waste time with people who don't appreciate your worth."

"Criticism is just jealousy wearing a business suit."

"I refuse to accept that growing older means becoming invisible."

"Your sense of humor is the armor that protects you from a cruel world."

"Real talent isn't about being the most talented—it's about working harder than everyone else."

"I've made peace with my flaws because perfection is a prison."

"The only person you need permission from to be yourself is yourself."

"Gratitude is the cheapest form of wealth and the richest form of wisdom."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time, and I've had plenty of both."

"Never underestimate the power of a well-timed joke to change the conversation."

"I've learned that self-pity is an indulgence nobody can afford."

"The world doesn't owe you anything—you owe it to yourself to be extraordinary."

"Fear is just an invitation to prove how brave you actually are."

"I believe in second acts, third acts, and infinite comebacks."

"Education is the one investment that can never be stolen from you."

"Your past doesn't define your future unless you let it live rent-free in your head."