Kelso

"I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller."

"That's stupid. Why would you do that?"

"I'm not listening, I'm just waiting for my turn to talk."

"Okay, but what if we're wrong?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure I'm right."

"That makes no sense whatsoever."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."

"You know what would be cool? If I was cool."

"I have no idea what's going on."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and I've heard myself talk."

"I'm thinking with my stomach."

"Wait, so you're telling me that's not how it works?"

"I have a confession - I have no confessions."

"That's so profound, I don't understand it at all."

"I think therefore... I don't think."

"You know what they say: ignorance is bliss."

"I'm gonna be honest with you - I have no idea what honesty is."

"If I had a brain, I'd be dangerous."

"That's a good question... I don't have a good answer."

"I like to keep things simple. Like my thoughts."

"You know what I've learned? Absolutely nothing."

"I'm gonna go with my gut feeling, even though my gut is usually wrong."

"That's life, man. It's confusing and doesn't make sense."

"I have all the answers - they're just not right."

"You can't argue with stupid - trust me, I've tried."

"I think I just confused myself."

"That's the most logical thing I've ever said."

"I don't need to think about it - my mind is already made up."

"You know what's great about being me? Absolutely nothing."

"I'm gonna say something smart... nope, can't do it."