"That's a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in stupidity."
Humor
"I have dreams, they just don't make sense."
Dreams
"Life is like a box of chocolates - I'd eat them all immediately."
Life
"I'm on a journey of self-discovery - mostly discovering I'm an idiot."
Humor
"That's so crazy it might just work... or it won't."
Humor
"I believe in myself - unfortunately."
Humor
"You know what I value most? Nachos."
Humor
"That's the kind of thinking that gets you nowhere - and I'm proof."
Humor
"I'm gonna go do something productive - like watch TV."
Humor
"That makes sense to me, which means it's probably wrong."
Humor
"I'm not stupid, I'm just not that smart."
Humor
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
Love
"I'm gonna be rich and famous, and then I'm gonna be a rock star."
Dreams
"Burn!"
Humor
"My brain is on fire."
Humor
"I know this great shortcut... to jail."
Humor
"You know what the problem is? Too many people thinking too much."
Philosophy
"I'm gonna go get myself some groceries."
Humor
"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."
Courage
"I'm not a moron, I'm just... limited in certain areas."
Wisdom
"That's just not cool, man."
Humor
"The point is, I'm smart enough to know when I'm not being smart."
"I don't need to know about feelings, man. I just need to know about having fun."
Happiness
"Success is like... when you get what you want."
Success
"Friends don't let friends get married."
Friendship
"I've got a really good feeling about this."
Hope
"You know what's awesome? Being awesome."
Humor
"My mom says I'm cool."
Humor
"That's just stupid, man."
Humor
"I'm gonna remember this moment forever... for like five minutes."