Kent Brockman

"Knowledge is useless without the ability to deliver it authoritatively."

"Time flies when you're having fun reading the news."

"Wisdom is knowing which tie matches your eyes."

"True happiness is a flawless news broadcast."

"Friendship is wonderful, but professionalism comes first."

"Family is important, even if they don't get my comedic timing."

"Hope is what we cling to when ratings are low."

"Courage is reading news you don't believe in with conviction."

"Change is scary, but my image consultants handle it well."

"Education matters, especially in learning how to read."

"Money is the root of all good broadcasting decisions."

"Health is important for maintaining this physique and presence."

"Adventure is for people without regular work schedules."

"Imagination helps when you need to make news seem important."

"Technology is wonderful, but nothing beats human charm."

"History remembers the great news anchors fondly."

"Philosophy teaches that truth is relative to audience expectations."

"Literature pales in comparison to a gripping news segment."

"Politics is the greatest drama ever broadcast."

"War coverage is what separates amateur reporters from professionals."

"Motivation is found in the mirror every morning."

"Inspiration comes from getting the biggest story first."

"Relationships require honesty, unlike my ad-libs."

"Solitude allows me time to practice my signature voice."

"Art is my craft, and reporting is my masterpiece."

"Science confirms I'm always right."

"Music is nice, but nothing beats the sound of applause after my broadcast."

"Faith in destiny has served me well so far."

"Leadership means making decisions others are afraid to make."

"Work-life balance is overrated when you love your job this much."