Kent Brockman

"Even in solitude, a journalist's duty is to the truth."

"I'm Kent Brockman, and I'll be reading the news tonight."

"This is a developing story, and we'll bring you updates as soon as we make them up."

"Life is like a box of donuts - you never know what you're going to get, but it's probably delicious."

"Love is a many-splendored thing, much like my hairpiece."

"Success in broadcasting is all about looking good and sounding authoritative."

"The truth is what I tell you it is."

"I have the strength of many men, especially when there's a camera nearby."

"Fear is just another word for being unprepared."

"Knowledge is power, but ratings are everything."

"Time waits for no man, especially not in live television."

"Wisdom comes with age and hair gel."

"Happiness is reading the news with perfect pronunciation."

"Friendship is a beautiful thing, unless it interferes with my career."

"Family matters, but so do good lighting and makeup."

"Hope springs eternal, much like my confidence."

"Courage is facing the camera with a firm jaw."

"Change is inevitable, but my hairstyle is not."

"Education is important, but street smarts matter more."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a better anchor desk."

"Health is wealth, which is why I moisturize daily."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to leave the news desk."

"Imagination is the key to great reporting."

"Technology has made news better, though I miss the typewriter era."

"History is written by those with the best news ratings."

"Philosophy teaches us to question everything except my credibility."

"Literature is fine, but nothing beats the written news."

"Politics is the art of saying one thing and doing another."

"War is terrible, but great for viewership."

"Motivation comes from within, or from a teleprompter."