Liz Lemon

"I want to go to the moon."

"Sometimes the world seems against you, but that's not true. The world is neutral. Most days."

"Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by a car anyway."

"I'm not a real businesswoman. I'm a pretend businesswoman."

"I don't care what people think of me."

"I've never been cool, but I've been thinking of getting a motorcycle."

"Somebody tell me what day it is."

"I love you and I miss you and I don't sleep well anymore."

"That's what I do. I drink coffee and I have opinions. That's me."

"You can't eat your way out of a bad mood."

"I'm not sad, I'm just thinking about things too much."

"You can't just put water in a bottle and call it a smoothie."

"I need to stop eating junk food and start living my life like an adult."

"Why do I like you so much when you're so terrible?"

"I want a baby but I don't want to be a mother."

"Sarcasm is my defense mechanism."

"I'm the only one who understands me."

"Work hard. You never know who's watching you."

"Life moves pretty fast. You have to stop and appreciate things."

"I feel like my life is a series of stupid decisions."

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just Irish."

"Sometimes you just have to let yourself be happy."

"I want people to like me, but I don't care if they like me."

"You're only as good as your last show."

"I hate people but I like individuals."

"Everything I do is wrong, apparently."

"I don't know how to have a real conversation anymore."

"I'd like to thank the Academy, my agent, and my therapist."

"Let me just say, this is a weird day."

"I need to stop falling in love with men."