Lutz

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it and disappears just as fast."

"Relationships are like jobs - you tolerate them until something better comes along."

"Solitude is great until you realize how much you hate yourself."

"The best part about getting older is knowing you were right all along."

"Love is temporary insanity that leads to permanent consequences."

"Happiness is a warm beer and no one asking you questions."

"Success is standing on a pile of other people's failures."

"Friendship is 90% pretending to care about what someone is saying."

"Family reunions are proof that natural selection doesn't exist."

"Hope is just denial in a better outfit."

"Courage is doing something dumb and calling it brave."

"Change is inevitable, so you might as well complain about it."

"Education gets you a diploma and debt. What a combo."

"Knowledge is power, but knowing when to keep your mouth shut is wisdom."

"Time management is just figuring out what to procrastinate on first."

"The truth is overrated. A good lie is always more interesting."

"Freedom is another word for making your own mistakes."

"Peace is just boredom without the honesty."

"Nature is beautiful from about 100 yards away."

"Art is whatever someone convinced a gallery to hang on a wall."

"Science is just organized guessing with evidence."

"Music is noise that someone decided was pleasant."

"Faith is believing what evidence clearly disproves."

"Leadership is just yelling louder than everyone else."

"Work expands to fill the time available to avoid going home."

"Dreams are what you have when you're not paying attention in meetings."

"Humor is the only appropriate response to most situations."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Death is nature's way of saying 'you're done here.'"

"Perseverance is just being too stubborn to quit."