Malory Archer

"You're hopeless, do you know that?"

"If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough."

"That's not a suggestion, that's an order."

"I don't have favorites, but if I did, it wouldn't be you."

"What part of 'no' don't you understand?"

"I raised a generation of idiots."

"Stop whining and do what I told you."

"You're being dramatic again."

"In my day, we didn't have all these feelings."

"Are you serious right now?"

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"That's the dumbest thing I've heard all week."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy vodka."

"I've done worse things before breakfast."

"You're making my head hurt."

"That plan is insane. Which means it might actually work."

"I don't do feelings, I do martinis."

"Stop being such a disappointment."

"This is exactly why I drink."

"You know what your problem is? Everything."

"I've been through worse and I've got the scars to prove it."

"Act like you've been there before."

"That's classified. And stupid."

"I don't appreciate your tone."

"Youth is wasted on the young."

"If I wanted your advice, I'd ask for it."

"You're grounded. Again."

"This conversation is over."

"I've sacrificed everything for you ingrates."

"That's what's wrong with your generation."