Malory Archer

"That's the problem with you people."

"I've been through war, disease, and bad marriages. You'll survive."

"Act your age, not your shoe size."

"This is precisely why I don't trust you."

"You had one job. One."

"I don't need luck. I have brains and good looks."

"Stop sniveling and be a man."

"That's not how a professional handles themselves."

"You're going to get yourself killed."

"I'll die before I admit you're right."

"That's despicable. Well done."

"I expect better from you. Mostly because you're capable of it."

"This is why I can't have nice things. Because of you."

"Just once, I'd like you to surprise me. Pleasantly."

"You're going to need a better explanation than that."

"I didn't survive the Cold War to listen to this."

"I'm not insane, I'm just not YOU."

"Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."

"Phrasing!"

"I don't want to hear about your day unless someone died."

"Sterling, just once I'd like to hear you say something intelligent."

"I've made worse decisions before breakfast."

"You're not my type. You're nobody's type."

"I raised you better than this. Obviously I didn't."

"Cocaine is a hell of a drug, but it's not MY drug."

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd beat it out of you."

"You're all monsters. Except you, Cyril. You're just useless."

"I don't have time for your neuroses."

"That's what happens when you're stupid."

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% not being a complete idiot."