Michael Scott

"That's what she said. But seriously, relationships are hard work."

"The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. The second best part is having a job you love."

"I want to be remembered as a man who made a difference in people's lives."

"You know what? I'm done. I'm done trying. I'm just going to be myself."

"The most important thing in life is to keep your mind and your heart open."

"I'm not a crier. Except when I'm alone. Or with my friends. Or with my family."

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. And some of them are filled with sadness."

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it with confidence."

"The biggest risk is not taking a risk at all."

"Love is a four-letter word. Like most four-letter words, it gets you in trouble."

"A good friend is someone who stabs you in the front."

"I'm not a bad boss. I'm just misunderstood."

"The road to success is paved with good intentions and empty promises."

"I never say anything I don't mean. Except when I do."

"Confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. Also, money."

"I would die for my employees. But I wouldn't kill for them."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"I'm like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Except I never really fall."

"Everything happens for a reason. And the reason is usually that I wanted it to happen."

"I'm not religious, but I'm a spiritual person. I believe in the universe and good vibes."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And Toby."

"I have a sixth sense. I can sense when someone is about to criticize me. Also, I'm very intuitive."

"I don't believe in rules. But I do believe in consequences."

"The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Also, money."

"I'm not perfect, but I'm close. Very close."

"Life is about the journey, not the destination. But I'd prefer a better destination."

"I believe in keeping my friends close and my employees closer."

"The secret to happiness is lowering your expectations and raising your optimism."

"I've never been in love. But I've been drunk a lot of times."

"The best part of my job is the people. The worst part is the work."