Michael Scott

"I'm not materialistic, but I do love expensive things."

"A true friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in jail with you."

"I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. Except for Toby."

"The key to success is knowing what you want and doing whatever it takes to get it."

"I'm not emotional. I just cry easily."

"Health is wealth. But money is wealth too. But health is less liquid."

"The only constant in life is change. And taxes. And my hairline receding."

"I would rather be feared than loved. But I'd prefer to be both."

"I have dreams. Big dreams. Dreams bigger than any dream anyone has ever had before."

"The best revenge is success. And then laughing at people who tried to stop you."

"I'm not vain, but I do spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror."

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Also, 30% luck."

"I believe in the power of positive thinking. And also in the power of not thinking."

"The greatest achievements come from the greatest risks."

"I'm not a quitter. I just redefine what success means frequently."

"Love is beautiful. Love is terrible. Love makes you do crazy things. Like buy a condo in Florida."

"I appreciate every person in my life. Even the ones I don't like."

"The world is full of possibilities if you're willing to look for them. And also, ignore your problems."

"I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm just afraid of things being too easy because then I can't succeed at them."

"True strength is admitting when you're weak. Unless people are watching."

"I don't make mistakes. I just have unexpected learning opportunities."

"The past is the past. Let's not dwell on it. Unless I did something awesome."

"Patience is a virtue that I have learned to appreciate in others."

"The most important quality in a leader is the ability to inspire. And also, the right watch."

"I believe that every person has a special gift. Mine is making things about me."

"Life without laughter is like pizza without cheese. Just bread with stuff on it."

"I'm comfortable in my own skin. Mostly. Sometimes. Every other day."

"The future is bright. Unless you look directly at the sun, then it's just painful."

"I don't need therapy. I have my thoughts and a journal and a voice recorder."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever. Good thing I'm attractive AND smart."