Michael Scott

"Knowledge is power. But power is power too. And I have both."

"I would describe myself as a lover, not a fighter. But I'm also a fighter."

"The best moment of my day is when I wake up and remember that I'm me."

"I believe in equality. As long as I'm more equal than everyone else."

"The music of life is played by those brave enough to dance."

"I'm not addicted to anything. I just really, really like certain things a lot."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. So make it count. Or don't. Whatever."

"I've learned that the people you work with can become your family. Except for Toby."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"That's what she said."

"I'm running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good."

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"The worst thing about prison would be the dementors."

"I want my kids to know me. But also, I want them to fear the power that I wield over them."

"I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!"

"I'm not a bad guy. I just have bad luck."

"Dwight, you ignorant slut!"

"I would never want to work for anyone else. Michael Scott makes dreams come true."

"I'm like Forrest Gump, except I'm not an idiot."

"The key to a great life is finding someone who completes you."

"You can't just skip ahead to the ending. That's not how life works."

"I'm the best boss ever. Ask anyone."

"Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going."

"I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms."

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

"I'm not afraid of anything. Well, except bears. Bears are terrifying."

"Success is 50% talent, 50% luck, and 100% me."

"I'm going to make you so happy you'll forget that you were ever sad."

"Money is not the most important thing in life. But love is not either. Friendship is."

"I think I can change. I think I have changed."