Mort Sahl

"I've stopped predicting the future. It's not what it used to be."

"Liberals feel unwarned by tradition; conservatives feel unwarned by the present."

"The New Deal was supposed to be a return to normalcy, but it turned out to be a revolution."

"Entertainment has nothing to do with truth."

"Watching your government is like watching a bad play - you keep hoping for a better third act."

"We've moved from a nation of problem-solvers to a nation of problem-creators."

"The only reason to be a Republican now is if you're making over $300,000 a year."

"If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it."

"Every time I think the worst is over, someone starts another war."

"The status quo is Latin for the mess we're in."

"I wrote about a man who lost his country. Then they took it away from him."

"Freedom means never having to ask permission to be yourself."

"Politicians are like bad CFOs - they count our money the way they count the votes."

"The difference between comedy and tragedy is just timing and who's getting hurt."

"Education is what you get when you read the small print; experience is what you get when you don't."

"People used to believe their government. Now they just vote for the less evil one."

"I'm a liberal, which means I believe everything should be free except freedom."

"The American Dream is having a nightmare and waking up to pay for it."

"Your politics are determined by what you believe people deserve, not by what they actually need."

"Sincerity is the greatest enemy of politics."

"A nation is a society united by delusion about its ancestry and terror of its neighbors."

"We're not moving forward; we're just rearranging the furniture on the Titanic."

"The problem with America is that we've mistaken comfort for happiness."

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether."

"The only thing wrong with doing nothing is you never know when you're finished."

"I've learned that the best politicians are the ones who pretend to understand economics."

"Art is what separates us from the animals - and sometimes the animals do it better."

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."