Mort Sahl

"I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of clothes."

"The secret to life is that there is no secret—just chaos and comedy."

"You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements."

"I'm glad I'm not young in this day and age—the world has become too complicated for innocence."

"What's the point of having freedom of speech if you're afraid to use it?"

"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without an intervening period of civilization."

"The duty of a comedian is to make people think while they're laughing."

"I once said that politics is show business for ugly people—I stand by that."

"The public is always right, which is why the public is always wrong."

"If you attack the established order, you will be destroyed by it."

"We live in an age of information, but we suffer from a lack of wisdom."

"Every revolution begins with a joke and ends with a bureaucracy."

"The truth is like a lion; you don't have to defend it. It will defend itself."

"Money is the root of all evil, but we need it anyway."

"Character is what you do when nobody is watching, but nowadays everybody is watching."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about, unless you're a politician."

"I believe in using plain language to say complicated things."

"Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet."

"The art of politics is knowing what not to say."

"We're all just doing the best we can with what we know, which is usually not much."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power is kind of cool to watch."

"The problem with our generation is we don't read enough; we just listen."

"If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"The greatest trick of the powerful is making us believe we're powerless."

"Time is the one thing we can't buy, so we waste it freely."

"Love is wonderful, but it's not a good foundation for a government."

"Dreams are what keep us alive; reality is what keeps us sane."

"Patience is a virtue for those who have nothing better to do."

"Fear is the greatest motivator and the worst advisor."