Pam Poovey

"Patience is a virtue I abandoned years ago."

"Kindness gets you nothing but walked all over."

"I have the strength to tolerate your incompetence, barely."

"Power corrupts, but it also pays better."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy silence."

"Health is what you have before this job destroys you."

"Adventure is code for 'things going horribly wrong.'"

"Imagination would suggest I could do something else."

"Technology makes everything worse, slowly."

"History doesn't repeat, but it rhymes with your mistakes."

"Philosophy is just expensive thinking."

"Literature gives you hope that fiction is better than reality."

"Politics is two sides agreeing to screw people like me."

"War is just business with more explosions."

"Motivation is what you feel before reality hits."

"Inspiration comes from anywhere but this office."

"Relationships are just sustained disappointments."

"Solitude is the only relationship I can trust."

"I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic."

"Your problems are not my emergency."

"I quit. Again. For the hundredth time."

"Love is a chemical imbalance that makes you stupid."

"Hope is what I feel on Fridays at 4:59 PM."

"The secret to happiness is lower expectations."

"Success tastes like leaving this place."

"Friends stab you in the back, coworkers at least face you."

"Family is an accident of birth you can't escape."

"Time moves slower when you're miserable."

"The truth is I could do this job with my eyes closed."

"Freedom is a myth sold to keep you working."