Pam Poovey

"Peace is impossible in an open office."

"Natural selection would remove all of you by now."

"This job is a work of art in dysfunction."

"Science can't explain how I tolerate you all."

"Music and alcohol are the same thing to me."

"I have faith that things will get worse."

"A real leader doesn't hide in their office."

"My dream was to be literally anywhere else."

"Humor is my coping mechanism for incompetence."

"Beauty is wasted on shallow people."

"You can't cheat death, just your taxes."

"Persistence is just refusing to accept failure."

"I'm grateful my liver still works."

"Creative solutions to stupid problems is my specialty."

"Justice means everyone gets what they deserve."

"Patience wore out around year two."

"Kindness is a weakness in this environment."

"I'm strong enough to resent all of you."

"Power is just permission to disappoint people."

"Money is why we pretend to like each other."

"My health deteriorates with every meeting."

"Adventure is what happens when plans fail."

"My imagination quit along with my hope."

"Technology wastes more of my time than it saves."

"History will judge you as harshly as I do."

"Philosophy won't pay your bills."

"Literature is better than your actual conversations."

"Politics is where broken people go to break others."

"War has nothing on office drama."

"Motivation is just fear with better branding."