Pete Hornberger

"Peace is just a word people use when they're too tired to fight."

"Nature is beautiful until you have to deal with it outdoors."

"Art is subjective, which is why most of it is terrible."

"Science explains everything except why people are the way they are."

"Music is the universal language. Unfortunately, most people are tone-deaf."

"Faith is believing in things you can't see or prove. I prefer spreadsheets."

"A true leader knows when to take credit and when to blame someone else."

"Work is what you do when you don't have the courage to ask for money."

"Dreams are just goals with bad planning."

"Humor is the best way to deflect from your actual problems."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most beholders need glasses."

"Death is the only thing more certain than taxes and disappointment."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness wearing a motivational shirt."

"Gratitude is what you feel when you realize things could be worse."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun. Intelligence doesn't visit me often."

"Justice is blind. Also, it's usually for sale."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time to develop."

"Kindness is weakness with a PR department."

"Strength isn't about muscles. It's about not crying at your desk."

"Fear is just excitement without breath control."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts my schedule entirely."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for a while."

"Health is just another word for being bored."

"Adventure is just a bad vacation with a better story."

"Imagination is what separates us from the animals. And common sense."

"Technology makes life easier and human relationships harder."

"History repeats itself because nobody was paying attention the first time."

"Philosophy is just educated guessing about things nobody can prove."

"Literature is life, except with better dialogue."

"Politics is show business for ugly people."