Pierce Hawthorne

"The secret to life is knowing when to hold them and knowing when to fold them."

"Love is grand, but a good real estate portfolio is better."

"Friendship is a two-way street, unless I'm the only one with money."

"Success is a ladder, and I'm not letting anyone climb it."

"Hope is what poor people have, I have bank statements."

"Patience is for people waiting for something. I'm just waiting for my next martini."

"The only thing better than being right is being rich and right."

"Education teaches you what to think, money teaches you how to live."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and I have all the fun money can buy."

"Truth is subjective, especially in a deposition."

"Freedom of choice is great, except I've already made all the right choices."

"Inner peace comes from external wealth."

"Nature's beauty can't compete with designer interiors."

"Art is an investment like any other, except it looks nice on your wall."

"Science is wonderful until it interferes with my afternoon."

"Music to my ears is the sound of stock tickers."

"Faith without works is dead, works without payment is also dead."

"A leader is someone people follow, preferably to their wallet."

"Work hard, or work smart. I recommend just being born rich."

"Dreams are free, which is why I don't have any."

"The beauty of getting older is people expect less from you."

"Death and taxes are inevitable, but not in Switzerland."

"Perseverance is admirable in other people."

"I'm grateful for everything I have, which is everything."

"Creativity is what you do when you can't afford a professional."

"Justice should always be affordable."

"Kindness is a luxury for those who can afford it."

"True strength is knowing when to let someone else do the heavy lifting."

"Fear is just the other side of adventure, I'm on this side with a drink."

"Power is intoxicating, though not as much as actual intoxication."