Principal Seymour Skinner

"Relationships should be professional, documented, and appropriate."

"Solitude at my desk helps me contemplate the weight of my position."

"Dreams are valid as long as they don't interfere with school functions."

"I believe in the power of positive thinking, grudgingly."

"Every rule in this school serves a purpose."

"My greatest achievement is maintaining Springfield Elementary's standards."

"I have given everything to this school, including my personal life."

"Responsibility is a burden I carry with quiet dignity."

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few recess minutes."

"I'm not a principal, I'm an educator... and a friend."

"Superintendent Chalmers, I can explain everything."

"Steamed hams. I call the lemonade steamed hams."

"You know, by some people's standards, I'm quite the ladies' man."

"Mother says I'm a thoroughbred."

"Education is the most important thing in life."

"I've been the principal of Springfield Elementary for many years."

"Those children are our future, and they're in my hands."

"A principal must be firm, fair, and fashionable."

"I find that a firm hand is necessary in matters of discipline."

"These children need structure and order."

"I take great pride in my work here at the school."

"Seymour Skinner doesn't bend to public pressure."

"I've dedicated my life to education and service."

"The rules must be followed, without exception."

"I represent the pinnacle of administrative excellence."

"One must maintain proper decorum at all times."

"I have a responsibility to these children and their parents."

"Change is difficult, but sometimes necessary."

"I believe in second chances... within reason."

"Education requires patience and dedication."