Randy Marsh

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on developing."

"Kindness costs nothing, unlike literally everything else."

"Strength comes from within and also from eating a lot of Cheesy Poofs."

"Fear is just an obstacle between you and what you want."

"Power corrupts, but it's also really fun while it lasts."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery more comfortable."

"Health is important, but so is enjoying a good Snacky S'more."

"Change is inevitable, like my terrible decisions and their consequences."

"Education opens doors, even if you have no idea what's behind them."

"Hope is what keeps you going when everything else fails."

"Freedom is the right to make your own mistakes."

"Solitude is nice until you realize you're alone with your thoughts."

"Relationships require compromise, which I'm terrible at."

"Creativity is just finding new ways to mess things up."

"War is hell, but sometimes it's necessary for ratings."

"Politics is a dirty game, and I'm pretty good at it."

"Motivation comes from within, or from a paycheck."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, usually while you're messing up."

"Literature helps us understand the human condition, or at least pass English class."

"Gratitude is underrated, but I'm grateful for money."

"I've learned that being a man means taking responsibility for your choices, eventually."

"Life teaches you lessons, usually the hard way."

"Love makes you do irrational things like marry someone."

"The path to wisdom is paved with embarrassing mistakes and regret."

"Happiness is fleeting, so you gotta grab it while you can."

"Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent not getting caught."

"True friendship is having someone who sees the worst in you and sticks around anyway."

"Family bonds can break, but they usually snap back somehow."

"Hope dies last, right after your savings account."

"Courage isn't about not being scared, it's about doing it anyway."