Randy Marsh

"Change is the only constant, besides aging and disappointment."

"Education is important for reasons I can't quite remember."

"Knowledge is valuable unless it gets you sued."

"Time waits for no man, especially not middle-aged men."

"The truth will set you free, but first it'll embarrass you."

"Freedom is awesome until someone expects you to use it responsibly."

"Peace is something everyone wants but nobody's willing to work for."

"Nature is better when you're not actively destroying it."

"Art can be anything if you believe hard enough and have good PR."

"Science is cool until you realize what it's saying about your lifestyle."

"Music is the universal language of people who can't communicate properly."

"Faith is believing in things you can't see, like a promotion."

"Leadership means making decisions and blaming others when they go wrong."

"Work is what you do for money, and money is what you work for."

"Dreams are nice, but reality usually ruins them."

"Humor is a coping mechanism for people who can't afford therapy."

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugliness goes all the way down."

"Adventure is risky, which is exactly why I keep having them."

"Imagination is the only thing governments can't completely regulate."

"Technology improves our lives until it turns against us."

"History shows us that humans never learn from their mistakes."

"Philosophy makes your head hurt but keeps you thinking."

"Justice is blind, which explains why it misses so much."

"Patience is a virtue, but I'm on a schedule."

"Kindness is free, unlike most good things in life."

"Strength isn't about muscles, it's about perseverance and stubbornness."

"Fear is the mind killer, but also the mistake maker."

"Power is addictive, which is why I keep seeking it."

"Money makes the world go round, and also makes people terrible."

"Health is wealth if you're willing to live like a monk."