Rick Sanchez

"Love is evolution's cruelest joke."

"Wisdom comes from suffering through stupidity."

"The truth hurts because it contradicts your comforting lies."

"Freedom is just slavery to your own impulses."

"Time is a flat circle, and I'm tired of walking it."

"Knowledge is power, and I'm armed to the teeth."

"Education is what remains when you forget everything you learned."

"The universe is cold, indifferent, and I'm colder."

"Death is just the ultimate portal. I'll probably invent it."

"Persistence isn't a virtue, it's stubbornness with a good PR team."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun. I'm having a terrible time."

"Every adventure is a chance to prove how smart I am."

"The future belongs to those smart enough to steal it."

"Morality is a construct, and I'm the architect."

"You're not as smart as me. Nobody is. It's exhausting."

"Existence precedes essence, so we might as well get drunk."

"I don't need friends, they limit my intellectual growth."

"Happiness is a temporary state of ignorance."

"The strong survive, the weak get ported into the sun."

"Hope is a powerful drug, and I prefer actual drugs."

"I've mastered every form of combat and every form of running away."

"Money can't buy me love, but it can buy infinite portal juice."

"Health is optional when you can respawn in alternate dimensions."

"Forgiveness is just weakness pretending to be mature."

"Peace is the absence of conflict, which bores me to extinction."

"Beauty is subjective, except when it comes to my intellect."

"The only thing worse than stupidity is apathy about stupidity."

"I've calculated the meaning of life. It's disappointing."

"You want a hundred adventures? Get in the car, Morty."