Samantha Jones

"I believe in living my best life every single day."

"Success isn't just about money. It's about freedom."

"I'm not interested in being liked. I'm interested in being respected."

"Life is too short for bad decisions and worse men."

"I've earned my place at the top, and I'm staying here."

"I'm fabulous, darling."

"Honey, I'm great in bed, but I don't enjoy it."

"Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls - because they can."

"I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties."

"I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet."

"Samantha Jones doesn't do girlfriends."

"I'm fabulous because I'm worth it."

"You can't fake it till you make it - you just fake it."

"I'm not interested in who's looking at me. I'm interested in who I'm looking at."

"The key to a great relationship is chemistry and stamina."

"I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear what I want."

"Love? That's for people who haven't met me yet."

"I'm successful because I believe in myself."

"Men are just like plants. You have to water them, feed them, and make sure they get enough light."

"Age is just a number, and mine is fabulous."

"I never say no to a cosmopolitan."

"The only way to guarantee a man's loyalty is to keep him guessing."

"I'm not bitter, I'm just experienced."

"Life is too short to waste on bad sex."

"I've always believed that one woman's loss is another woman's gain."

"Great women never settle."

"If I worried what every man thought of me, I'd never leave the house."

"I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm just committed to myself first."

"The best time to wear a fabulous dress is now."

"I like sex. I will have sex. I enjoy sex."