Smithers

"Understanding power dynamics is essential to navigating the modern workplace."

"Humility is a virtue, especially when addressing your superiors."

"The path to enlightenment runs through perfect office attendance."

"Sacrifice is a necessary component of any meaningful relationship."

"True art is the art of making oneself indispensable to one's employer."

"Science has proven that productivity increases with proper motivation through fear."

"The sweetest music is the sound of one's achievements being acknowledged."

"Faith without works is dead, but loyalty without doubt is divine."

"A leader's greatest asset is a subordinate who asks no questions."

"Work-life balance is a myth; work should be your life."

"Every dream can come true if you devote every waking moment to someone else's vision."

"Humor is best when directed at those who cannot fire you."

"The most beautiful thing in life is a perfectly executed professional duty."

"Mortality reminds us to make the most of our working years."

"Persevere through any hardship if it means staying employed."

"Gratitude should be expressed through increased work output."

"The creative process is best guided by the demands of management."

"Justice is knowing one's place in the corporate hierarchy."

"Patience is rewarded with slightly less disdain from above."

"Strength is measured by one's ability to endure repeated disappointment."

"Fear of failure drives excellence in those who depend on approval."

"Power is best served through the person wielding it over you."

"Money cannot buy happiness, but a good salary buys complicity."

"Health is important, but health insurance through your employer is more important."

"Adventure is discovering new ways to please your employer."

"Imagination should be channeled into solving workplace problems."

"Technology is a tool for increasing productivity and surveillance."

"Historical figures pale in comparison to the great men of industry."

"Philosophy asks why we exist; employment provides the answer."

"Literature teaches us that great stories involve great devoted followers."