"If I'm not laughing, I'm crying, so I choose to laugh."Humor
"Beauty fades. Money doesn't."Beauty
"Death is the one promotion I'm actually looking forward to."Death
"Perseverance is just refusing to admit defeat."Perseverance
"I'm grateful for pretzel day and little else."Gratitude
"Creativity is fine if it doesn't interfere with productivity."Creativity
"Justice is blind, which is how most people get away with things."Justice
"Patience is something I've run out of."Patience
"Kindness is for people who don't understand the world."Kindness
"Strength is accepting that you're trapped and making peace with it."Strength
"The only thing worse than fear is false hope."Fear
"Power is an illusion. Money is real."Power
"Health insurance is my only real relationship."Health
"Adventure sounds exhausting."Adventure
"Imagination got me into trouble as a kid. I've learned to avoid it."Imagination
"Technology is making everything worse."Technology