Ted Baxter

"Death and taxes are certain, but my tan is eternal."

"Perseverance through hair loss - now that's dedication."

"I'm grateful for everything - my genes, my charm, my mirror."

"Creativity is about seeing what others miss - like my best angles."

"Justice is served when Ted Baxter gets recognition."

"Patience is waiting for others to catch up to you."

"Kindness is complimenting someone, especially if it's me."

"Strength isn't about muscles - it's about conviction in your own superiority."

"Fear is unknown - I'm very well known."

"Power is the ability to command a room, which I do daily."

"Money can't buy taste, but it can buy anything else."

"Health is wealth, and I'm filthy rich."

"Adventure is for people who aren't satisfied being themselves."

"Imagination helps you picture me even better than I am."

"Technology will eventually recognize my superiority."

"History repeats itself - mostly me, repeating myself."

"Philosophy: I think, therefore I am fabulous."

"Literature would improve if I wrote it."

"Politics needs more people like me - vain and beautiful."

"War and peace both benefit from good hair."

"Motivation? I'm walking motivation in a suit."

"Inspiration is looking at me and wanting to be better."

"Relationships work best when one person is obviously superior."

"Solitude is me, myself, and I admiring each other."