Tom Tucker

"I'm Tom Tucker, and I'm fabulous."

"That's the way the news goes, folks."

"Breaking news: I'm still the best-looking anchor in television."

"Success is all about having the right hair and the right attitude."

"You miss 100% of the stories you don't cover."

"In this business, looks matter. Trust me, I know."

"The news waits for no man, but it waits for Tom Tucker."

"I didn't get where I am by being humble."

"Love is just another story to report on."

"Every day is an adventure when you're as charming as me."

"Friendship means having someone to share your success with."

"The truth is: I'm always right."

"Hard work? More like hard looking fabulous while working."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it buys great hair gel."

"I believe in freedom—my freedom to be on camera."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."

"Change is good, as long as it doesn't change how I look."

"Education is important, but have you seen my portfolio?"

"Knowledge is power, but so is a great suit."

"Time flies when you're having ratings success."

"Beauty fades, but a good anchor's career is eternal."

"I face my fears head-on—mostly my fear of bad ratings."

"The art of journalism is knowing how to look good doing it."

"Science says I'm the most attractive news anchor in Quahog."

"Music to my ears: high Nielsen ratings."

"Faith? I have faith in myself, and that's enough."

"Leadership means everyone follows your example—like my example of perfection."

"Dreams do come true when you're as talented as I am."

"Why be humble when you can be Tom Tucker?"

"Perseverance paid off—I persevered until I became fabulous."