Family Guy

"I love my family more than anything, even beer. Okay, maybe tied with beer."

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all."

"I'm not saying I'm a genius, but I've never been proven wrong."

"The key to success is doing things that successful people do. Or something."

"Relationships require work, which is why I avoid them... except Lois."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it. Usually during beer time."

"You know what? I'm gonna be more responsible starting tomorrow."

"Life is like a box of... wait, I forgot the rest."

"Solitude is okay for about thirty seconds."

"Truth is overrated. Lies are more fun."

"Time flies when you're having fun. And when you're sleeping."

"Knowledge is power, but I prefer beer."

"Leadership means making decisions, even if they're wrong."

"Gratitude is important. Thanks for listening to me."

"Death is just another adventure you can't come back from."

"Nature is great, especially when it includes fish."

"Peace is nice, but have you heard of beer?"

"Fear is natural, but stupidity helps me get over it."

"Strength comes from within. Or maybe from chicken wings."

"Kindness costs nothing, unlike beer."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have."

"Art is whatever makes you feel something. This beer makes me feel stuff."

"Music makes the world go 'round. Or maybe it's physics."

"War is terrible. Mostly because it's far away and I can't watch it properly."

"History repeats itself, which is why I keep making the same mistakes."

"Technology is great until it breaks and you don't understand it."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Too bad I have neither."

"Adventure is out there, but I'm gonna stay home."

"Health is important, which is why I'm gonna have another beer."

"Real power is knowing when to shut up. I'm not good at that."