Tracy Jordan

"Time flies when you're having fun. And I'm always having fun."

"The truth is, I'm awesome. You'll just have to accept that."

"Freedom isn't free. It costs about $19.95 and some dignity."

"Peace is just a word fancy people use to avoid saying 'I'm tired of fighting.'"

"Nature is beautiful, but have you seen me in a three-piece suit?"

"Art is subjective, but my art is objectively the best."

"Music is the universal language. So is money."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see. Like my talent."

"A good leader leads by example. I lead by being fabulous."

"Work hard, play harder. I do both simultaneously."

"Dreams are just goals with a good publicist."

"Humor is the best medicine. Well, actually medicine is, but humor is second."

"Beauty fades, but my star power is eternal."

"Death? That's not in my contract."

"Perseverance means never giving up, even when everyone tells you to."

"Gratitude is just appreciating what you have. I appreciate everything about myself."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun. I'm very fun and very intelligent."

"Justice is blind, but it knows who I am."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."

"Kindness doesn't cost anything, but I'm worth more than that anyway."

"Strength isn't just physical; it's mental, emotional, and financial."

"Fear is just temporary until I enter the room."

"Power is knowing what you want and taking it. I want everything."

"Money is the root of all evil, and I'm a very evil genius."

"Health is wealth, but I prefer actual wealth."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to afford it."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Good thing I have both."

"Technology is cool, but nothing beats the human touch. My human touch."

"History is written by the victors. I'm always victorious."

"Philosophy is asking questions about life. I already have all the answers."