Waylon Smithers

"Mr. Burns is a great man, and I would do anything for him."

"The key to success is hard work and dedication to your employer."

"I live for the moment when Mr. Burns needs me."

"Love is wonderful, but duty comes first."

"A good employee anticipates their boss's every need."

"I've devoted my life to serving Mr. Burns, and I regret nothing."

"Happiness comes from knowing you've done your job well."

"Mr. Burns represents everything good in this world."

"The path to greatness is through absolute obedience."

"I would walk through fire for Mr. Burns."

"Time is best spent in service to one's superior."

"Truth is whatever Mr. Burns says it is."

"Freedom means having the liberty to serve Mr. Burns."

"Peace comes from complete acceptance of your place in life."

"Beauty exists in the perfection of duty."

"Science should advance Mr. Burns's interests."

"A kind word from Mr. Burns is worth more than gold."

"Strength comes from unwavering loyalty."

"Fear is a tool to keep one focused on their work."

"Power belongs to those who serve faithfully."

"Money is good, but Mr. Burns's approval is better."

"Health matters only as it relates to work capacity."

"Adventure is having a new task from Mr. Burns."

"Imagination should be channeled into solving work problems."

"Technology exists to make Mr. Burns richer."

"History will remember Mr. Burns as the greatest man ever."

"Philosophy is the study of why Mr. Burns is always right."

"Literature is valuable only if it pleases Mr. Burns."

"Motivation comes from the fear of disappointing Mr. Burns."

"Inspiration is Mr. Burns's presence alone."