Waylon Smithers

"Relationships should serve the greater good of the workplace."

"Solitude is time to think about Mr. Burns."

"Justice means Mr. Burns gets what he deserves—everything."

"Patience is essential when waiting for Mr. Burns's approval."

"Gratitude should be expressed through perfect work."

"Creativity is best used in furthering Mr. Burns's goals."

"Education should teach loyalty and obedience."

"Knowledge is power only when it serves the master."

"Hope exists because Mr. Burns might notice my efforts."

"Change is acceptable only if Mr. Burns approves it."

"Family is secondary to one's professional obligations."

"Friendship is based on mutual appreciation of Mr. Burns."

"Dreams should align with workplace objectives."

"Humor is best when it doesn't offend Mr. Burns."

"Death would be acceptable if it meant saving Mr. Burns."

"Nature exists to provide resources for industry."

"Art should glorify Mr. Burns and his achievements."

"Music is pleasant background for working."

"My greatest achievement is Mr. Burns's comfort."

"To be needed is to truly be alive."

"Duty calls louder than any other voice."

"I would sacrifice anything for Mr. Burns's happiness."

"Wisdom means understanding one's proper place in society."

"Mr. Burns's word is law, and law is justice."

"A life without purpose is a life wasted."

"Success is measured by how well you serve others."

"The greatest friendship is that between master and servant."

"Hope springs eternal when your master is Mr. Burns."

"Courage is doing what's right even when it's unpopular."

"I embrace change as long as it doesn't affect my duties."