Cheers

"Education is wasted on people who refuse to learn from their mistakes."

"Change is the only constant, except for human stupidity."

"Courage is standing up to the people who think they're better than you."

"Hope is what keeps you coming back here night after night."

"Family will hurt you in ways only family can, then expect forgiveness."

"Friendship requires tolerating someone's stupidity on a regular basis."

"Success means having enough money to tell people no."

"Happiness is a choice, and I choose it when people aren't annoying me."

"Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to just let people be idiots."

"Love at first sight is usually just lust at first drink."

"Life lessons come from mistakes, and I've made enough for three lifetimes."

"War between people is avoidable; war between you and your mirror is not."

"Politics and religion—never discuss them, especially in a bar I have to work at."

"Literature is nice if you have time to read, which I don't."

"Philosophy is just overthinking life while nursing a drink."

"History repeats itself, which means I'll probably keep dealing with the same jerks."

"Technology is great until it means people have more ways to bother me."

"Death is probably the only thing that will finally give me some peace and quiet."

"Every scar tells a story, and mine all involve some idiot doing something stupid."

"Leadership is just bossing people around with the right attitude."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see, like my faith that you'll tip decently."

"Music is nice, but not as nice as the sound of someone admitting they were wrong."

"Education teaches you facts, but experience teaches you how to dodge them."

"If you're looking for true love, you're looking in the wrong bar."

"Solitude is underrated, especially when it means being away from everyone else."

"Inspiration hits when you least expect it, usually when you're already annoyed."

"Motivation is easier when you have something to complain about afterward."

"Hope is just disappointment waiting to happen, but it's still worth having."

"Work is what you do to survive the people you have to deal with."

"Power comes from knowing exactly what people want and making them work for it."