Discworld: Guards! Guards!

"The thing about being a human is that you're human, which means you make mistakes."

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."

"Small men can have big dreams, and Carrot Ironfoundersson had always believed in himself."

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that very existence of that world is a state of rebellion."

"A dragon is just a person who wouldn't stay dead."

"The remarkable thing about people is that they are remarkable."

"You can't make people believe things they don't want to believe."

"It is said that the gods play jokes with the lives of men. Sometimes the jokes are quite cruel."

"The Disc had never really gone in for being sensible."

"Cities, like people, get the heroes they deserve."

"A mind is a terrible thing to have in a city guard."

"The trouble with being a god is that if you're any good at it, you're too busy to enjoy it."

"There was a dragon in the city, which was odd because there shouldn't be any dragons anymore."

"The assassins' guild believed in very high professional standards."

"Most dwarfs are called either Blucher or Bolter, and have given up the old ways of their people."

"In fact, the mere act of opening the box had released the magic all round them."

"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness, but it's better still to curse the darkness and then light a flamethrower."

"You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, but it helps if the eggs are willing."

"Ankh-Morpork had never really gone in for the very long pointy hat approach to witchcraft."

"The Librarian had apparently decided that he no longer wished to speak human language, and had instead committed himself to the language of the ape."

"City guards wear breastplates because it's expected of them, not because it helps."

"He was a vain man, and to a vain man the reflection of perfection is enough."

"It is a curious fact that conspiracy-minded people are usually conspirators."

"Dragons don't exist because people have stopped believing in them."

"There are only four people in the Guard who can honestly say they have never been turned into a newt."

"In a city like Ankh-Morpork, there was no such thing as too much coincidence."

"Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness."

"You can go a long way in the dark, but eventually you will bump into something."

"Vimes had always believed that while the world was full of people who'd stab you in the back, it was full of an even greater number who'd stab you in the front."

"The problem with fantasy is that it takes work."