Discworld: Guards! Guards!

"It is said that the gods play jokes with the lives of men. This is probably true."

"Belief is a wonderful thing, but it would be even more wonderful if it also included the ability to think."

"Humans could be very inventive when it came to making other humans unhappy."

"A dragon is just a very large reptile with wings."

"Men at arms shouldn't think too hard. It interferes with the essential nature of men at arms."

"It is said that the gods play jokes with the lives of men."

"All dwarfs are bastards, but not all bastards are dwarfs."

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong in the broken places."

"I'm not a lady. I'm a policewoman."

"You can't give her a sword. She's a lady."

"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a deranged mind."

"It is often better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness, although the results are much the same."

"Sometimes you have to believe in dragons to fight them."

"A dragon in the city is bad for business."

"When you're at the bottom, the only way is up."

"A man can't serve two masters equally well."

"There is always a choice, even when there doesn't seem to be one."

"A sword is a sword, and a sword doesn't care who wields it."

"The city is alive, and it has its own rules."

"You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs."

"People are basically terrible, but occasionally nice."

"The poor will always be with us, unfortunately."

"A dragon is a dragon, no matter what you call it."

"The best lies contain an element of truth."

"You need to understand the rules before you can break them effectively."

"A good officer respects his men."

"You don't get a city like Ankh-Morpork without some mess."

"History is merely the story the victors tell."

"The troll's idea of a sophisticated drink is a bottle of sulfuric acid with an olive in it."

"A true dwarf never forgets a debt."