Frasier

"I've decided that most people are fundamentally disappointing."

"My mother always said I was special. She was right, and also deeply wrong about everything else."

"Relationships are complicated, which is why I prefer the company of my thoughts."

"Inspiration strikes me when I'm left completely alone."

"Motivation comes from the threat of human interaction."

"War between nations is tragic, but social conflict is absolutely catastrophic."

"Politics would be tolerable if one could vote remotely and never meet constituents."

"Literature is wonderful because books don't require you to make eye contact."

"Philosophy is essentially me talking to myself, which is my preferred method of conversation."

"History repeats itself, which is why I learn nothing and remain unchanged."

"Technology enables connection without actually having to connect with anyone."

"Imagination allows me to envision scenarios where I never have to leave my apartment."

"Adventure sounds dreadful. I prefer routine and predictability."

"Health is maintained through worry, introspection, and limited physical exertion."

"Money isn't everything, but it does allow one to pay for excellent mental health care."

"Power is having enough money to never have to see people if you don't wish to."

"Fear keeps one cautious, and caution keeps one safe from disappointment."

"My strength comes from my ability to endure solitude indefinitely."

"Kindness is appreciated, but I prefer it at arm's length."

"Patience is a virtue I practice mostly while waiting for people to leave."

"Justice should be served quickly and quietly, preferably by mail."

"Creativity is expressing oneself without actually speaking to anyone."

"I'm grateful for everything, which is why I prefer to thank no one in person."

"Perseverance in maintaining one's standards is all that truly matters."

"Death might be preferable to attending a casual dinner party."

"Beauty is appreciated best from a distance, preferably across a room."

"Humor is my defense mechanism against the horror of human connection."

"Dreams are what occupy my mind while I'm avoiding reality."

"Work is tolerable only when conducted from home with minimal human contact."

"Leadership means making decisions without consulting anyone else."