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"Strength is admitting you're weak, or just not admitting anything."

"Kindness is nice, but I'm usually too tired."

"Patience is something I'm working on, which means I'm not patient."

"Death seems overrated as far as life experiences go."

"Beauty standards are ridiculous, so I ignore them completely."

"Humor is just sadness with better timing."

"Dreams are wonderful until you realize they're impossible."

"Health advice from doctors is mostly just scare tactics."

"Money doesn't grow on trees, but it also doesn't grow anywhere accessible to me."

"Power corrupts, which is why I don't want any."

"I respect authors who admit they don't really know what they're doing."

"Philosophical questions are just things nobody has good answers for."

"History shows us that we never learn from history."

"Technology is great for making people feel less alone while being completely isolated."

"Imagination is proof that reality is insufficient."

"Adventure is just tourism with lower safety standards."

"Work-life balance is a myth invented to make you feel bad about your choices."

"I have faith that things will probably work out, or they won't, either way I'm prepared."

"Music makes people think they have emotions, which is convenient."

"Nature is beautiful from far away, preferably from inside."

"Peace is achievable if you just don't care about anything."

"I value freedom, which is why I avoid situations where I'm responsible."

"Knowledge is useful, but ignorance really is more fun."

"Education teaches you how to think like everyone else, which is depressing."

"Time management is something I would do if I cared about time."

"I think I'm creative, which is just another way of saying I don't follow rules."

"If you want to be happy, just want less."

"The best defense is a good offense, but I usually just use deflection."

"Love is mostly just being too lazy to leave."

"I don't understand people who enjoy being around other people."