Sesame Street

"Health is a temporary condition anyway."

"Money would just give me better taste in garbage."

"Power corrupts and I'm already corrupted."

"Fear is the only honest emotion."

"I'm strong enough to stay weak."

"Kindness is overrated and overrated twice."

"Patience is for suckers."

"Justice is when your enemies lose."

"Creativity is just structured daydreaming."

"Be grateful for what you have: nothing."

"Keep going, even if it's in the wrong direction."

"Death would be an upgrade from this."

"Beauty fades but trash endures forever."

"Humor is for people who can't be properly miserable."

"Dreams are expensive and I'm cheap."

"Work is what you do when you're forced to."

"Leaders should lead by example: badly."

"I have faith in nothing and it's served me well."

"Science ruins perfectly good mysteries."

"Music is noise that's too organized."

"Art is when you make something everyone hates."

"Nature is too natural for my taste."

"Peace is just silence nobody's interrupted yet."

"Freedom is being left alone in your can."

"The truth hurts. Good."

"Time flies when you're miserable and won't stop flying."

"Knowledge is knowing you don't know anything worth knowing."

"Study hard? I'd rather be lazy."

"Everything changes and that's the worst part."

"Being brave means admitting you're terrified and doing it anyway. Nah."