Slaughterhouse-Five

"We are here on Earth to fart around"

"There is no why"

"I know it is all very terrible. I know the war must be done somehow."

"Dresden was as unreal as the moon."

"I would like to die in my sleep like my grandfather did."

"I have become an Earthling who thinks creatures from other planets are common. I have become a human being."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"Do you know what I was? Before the war?"

"Congratulations. I'm a spastic. I'm spastic."

"That was I. That was me."

"That is a very Earthling thing to do, isn't it?"

"Everything is beautiful now."

"I am a Tralfamadorian, seeing all time as you see a landscape."

"Yes, and I have seen the past, the present, and the future, and I am able to see how things always work out."

"When I get to heaven I will ask for a rubdown."

"That is the only bad aspect of the Universe that I have to report."

"So I learned to leave them alone."

"I have this disease late in life. It's the only disease I ever heard of. The disease is called Trout Fishing in America."

"The most important thing I have learned is that human beings should be kind."

"How nice – to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."

"I would die for you. But I won't live for you."

"We are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different."

"I have become a bum."

"It is just an illusion here on Earth that you can take your time."

"You know what the good news is? I'm pooped. But so what? Everybody in the Universe is pooped at one time or another."

"The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past."

"Poo-tee-weet?"

"I have this disease late in life. It's a very decent disease to have at my age."

"Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber"

"Nice, nice—a picture-window on the universe"